Semi-Daily Scribbles

Gary was spot–on when he told me to shut up at lunch today. I'm not going to lie (I'm writing this down for further analysis) or get bent out of shape. He said I love the sound of my own voice, especially when I'm in "Phony Mode" as he called it. Gary said I'm all about the right words and thoughtful advice and perfect solution and how people eat it up even when it's all complete bullshit. But what he said really pissed him off was when I actually do make sense. According to Gary, I have moments of lucidity. There are times when I can break down a complex situation and rearrange it so someone who does not have a direct link to my thought process (and Gary thinks he has access to this link?) knows what step to take first to get back on track. He told me he won't forget how I've helped him through some very dark days. But … I have a pathological avoidance of following my own advice. Because of this affliction or syndrome or whatever, Gary told me I don't have the right to complain about anything. Not when I'm so damn good at fixing everyone else's problems. So, when I mentioned at lunch how sick I was of my boss and his roadblocks and how he didn't promote me to Planner II, well…I did what Gary told me. I guess that's why the phrase is "listen and learn" and not "talk and learn." I think I made him lose his appetite which I feel badly about.