Semi-Daily Scribbles

Aunt Ruth always said an army of one was great for getting things started, but lousy for crossing the finish line. In other words, it's o.k. to ask for help and it's o.k. to accept it. Didn't seem like a complex concept. Ask, and it shall be…you know the rest. What I'd never really thought about before, though, was something Ruth told me only just recently.

"Kit," she said, "you really ought to know a person pretty damn well if you're asking him for something that could change your life. I'm not talking about a guy at work bringing back a sandwich for you. I'm talking about taking the kind of help that will make you beholden to someone. I know the word beholden rubs people the wrong way. That's because folks think it means you're at somebody's beck and call. Maybe even on a leash. Well, beholden can certainly mean those things, but here we come now to that life changing part. Are you comfortable doling out little pieces of you here and there to get what you want?" I shook my head as I crammed a wedge of pecan pie into my mouth. "No? Hmm." Ruth handed me a glass of tea and then poured one for herself. We both took long, silent sips of the syrupy sweet drink. "Why not, Kit?" I rubbed the back of my neck as I shifted my weight on the vinyl kitchen chair.

"It leaves you pretty exposed, doesn't it? Asking for help. I guess the whole business of asking is like a contract, and I've always skipped over the fine print. If it's a loan we're talking about, I won't be paying one of those off any time soon. So, I'd say I need to get busy and make something happen with what I've got. I think I'm a ways away from hitting you up for help, tempting as it sounds right about now." I finished my tea and thought about another slice of pie. "Besides, I could be pulling favors for God knows who for God knows how long because I had to have like, yesterday, that life changing whatever. That'd suck."

"But would it have all been worth it in the end?" Ruth asked as she placed another slice, this time peach, down in front of me. Aunt Ruth: Sage, Baker, Mind Reader. I dug in and wished for a scoop of vanilla ice cream. It didn't appear and that was o.k.

"Worth it in the end…" I said between bites. "If done my way, the effort is definitely worth it even if I fail. Goals are what keep us putting one foot in front of the other. Who knows where that'll get me? And as long as I stick to your Big 3* I should be golden."

"That's my Kit." Ruth kissed me on the forehead before she went outside to pull the bed sheets off the line.

*1. Know when to ask for help.
  2. Be precise in what you ask for.
  3. It is not necessary to accept help from everyone who offers.

Kris was startled by the face that hovered in front of the oatmeal. All she did was open the pantry and reach for a packet of cinnamon raisin, just like any other morning where she was already 10 minutes late for work. But on this special Thursday, a ghoul with his nose out of joint wanted to start something. It was a full moon, and Kris hadn't slept well the past couple of nights. The recurring picture show, the one in which Kris ran from silent, hooded assailants through a rickety mansion, played without an intermission and at full volume. Kris heard the crack and crunch of her bones as the attackers bit hard and devoured every last morsel of the girl who just wanted to get to work on time.

"If you're looking for a tussle," Kris said to the uninvited pantry guest, "sit tight and I'll be back around 6:00." She slammed the door on the face that wasn't a total stranger. The tiny head with a sharp tongue and a knack for prognostication usually came around when something big was about to happen. But with no sleep and no dinner the night before, Kris was more concerned with the bus schedule and her plummeting blood sugar. She hoped her tardiness wouldn't have anything to do with the event headed her way.