Semi-Daily Scribbles

Publicity and feedback. Some assert that there is no such thing as bad publicity. Can the same be said for feedback? More specifically, peer evaluations for a 317-word essay I wrote for an on-line literature course that I'm taking with my buddy Geoffrey. I'm grateful for the comments that six of my fellow students offered in the spirit of helping me become a better writer and reader. We received our essay assessments today, so I'm still in an absorbing and understanding phase. In a day or two I'll be ready to filter through the comments and put into practice those suggestions that make the most sense in developing my writing skills. In any event, it's gratifying to set loose into the world a creative work, and have it come back perhaps battered, but better for having passed through someone else’s consciousness.

EVALUATION ON ESSAY FORM

student1 → Strong conclusion showing the two different result from the same start. The opening might have been expanded upon a bit but overall it's good and the main body does a good job illustrating your point.

student2 → Logical, firm, well-structured, clear and easy to read. Since English is not my native language I will not state that the form is perfect, but as far as I am concerned it is flawless. It is good that you manage to compare two different tales in consistent manner, giving enough attention to both without interrupting the thought process of the reader.

student3 → I find it very well structured as far as I can tell, the same with grammar and the usage of words :), but I can always miss something (Hopefuly not this time)

student4 → Good work in structure, vocabulary, grammar and syntax

student5 → The grammar is correct and word is used properly. The structure of the essay needs improvement. The author cites some sentences from Grimm brothers' stories. But it isn't clear that who says the sentences.

student6 → This essay has some confusion, some parts have to be read until the end for you to understand if its talking about a new subject or the same.

Score from your peers: 2

EVALUATION ON ESSAY CONTENT

student1 → The two examples used are a great contrast in results and nicely stated. I think the “The Fisherman and His Wife” was stated much more completely than “The Knapsack, The Hat, and The Horn” but overall this is pretty good.

student2 → The logic is there, I can agree with most statements you make. However, I feel that conclusion “Ask, but be careful what you wish for” only suits the first story. The youngest brother in “The Knapsack, The Hat, and The Horn” didn’t wish for anything in particular; his troubles arise not from his greed, but from others who are unwilling to accept him or his sudden rise to power. Also, I’d say that your assumption of fishermen’s wish could use some additional explanation; nevertheless, this is an interesting thought to consider and some good analysis.

student3 → Even thought the essay makes a point and explains it, it's not so straightforward and for foreign readers can be a little bit difficult to understand. On the other hand the use of quotes illustrating the attitude of the characters was excellent because it helped linking them with the point you’re making

student4 → A very good comparison between the common theme in these two stories. I liked the reference to Bible concerning the "ask and you will be given". I didn't know that there was such a passage in Bible. The only relevant story i know is in "The Alchemist".

student5 → Author states that the exposition is greed and quest for power. The two stories discussed in the essay has nothing to do with the biblical passage of Matthew 7:7. Author should remove it from the essay.

student6 → There is no discussion, or insight about the tale, or the work of the Grimm brothers. The writers simply spoke briefly about a few tales and about one specifc tale in the middle of the essay, but didn't had any insight, nor discussed about it in comparsion to todays world, neither talked a little about why those stories were still alive.

Score from your peers: 2

Please write here any other comments which you feel might be of use to you or the writer of this essay:

student2 → It gladdens me to see that some people actually work on their assignment; good job.
student5 → Author may merge some of the paragraphs together to make the essay clear.
student6 → Watch the video of the class/module and tries to follow it.